


How I Met Your Grunkle

by citrusfiend



Category: Danny Phantom, Gravity Falls
Genre: Dimension Travel, Ghosts, M/M, Pre-Slash, haven't decided his exact age yet, older Danny, seriously if i didn't make it clear enough he's at least 30
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9517244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusfiend/pseuds/citrusfiend
Summary: In which Danny was dimensionally homeless and Ford didn't travel alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing or if I'm even going to continue this. This plot bunny ambushed me and I haven't wanted to write this badly in a while. I'll probably be back in a week to delete this from Author's Regret(TM). Let me know what you think please :33

On the anniversary of one's birth, one is expected to enjoy themself, spend time with their family, or at the very least indulge themself in something. For Danny Fenton, however, it is one of two days per year that he allows himself to be miserable.

Now if only he could be miserable in peace.

The source of his irritation, a wizard(?) with purple earfins who carries an aura of death around him, gives him another pointy-toothed grin that was probably supposed to be charming, and tries again.

“Awwww come on, just one night.”

“I will seriously pay you actual money to go away.” Danny says flatly.

“Wwhy don't you loosen up and havve some fun? You look like you could afford to relax a bit.” He wiggles his earfins, and Danny grits his teeth to keep himself from causing a scene. It's not worth it, he's just some-

The bell on the door jangles, and Danny looks up. On the other side of the bar, a man wearing a lab coat stumbles through the door. He blinks and looks around, confused and a little shocked at the wide variety of aliens, demons and cryptids in the room, meets Danny's eyes for a moment, and is immediately set upon by the bounty hunters camped out at the table by the door.

Danny cringes a little in sympathy, the poor guy must be new. No seasoned worldwalker comes into a hub dimension like this one without weapons, armor, and usually a mask of some sort as well. The chances you'll run into someone who wants you dead are far too high to take such risks. He can already hear the man pleading with them, trying to talk his way out, and fuck, he wants to help. His ghostly instincts are prickling, begging him to help, to protect, but he shoves them down. Can't get attached, not when the people he likes all end up dead or gone.

“Shut up! If Cipher didn't want you alive, you'd already be dead!”

At the name, Danny can feel his eye twitch. Well, so much for not getting involved.

He stands, downs the rest of his drink, grabs fish-wizard's giant fruity concoction, and with the ease of long practice, hurls it across the room.

Even as a human, his aim is flawless. The glass sails twenty feet and nails the taller of the two creeps in the back, spilling down his clothes and soaking him from shoulder to thigh.

He whirls and shouts, “Who threw that?”

Danny points at the drink's original owner.

“He did!”

Danny spares a second's thought on halfhearted pity for the wizard, and darts across the bar to rescue the newbie.

He's still watching the hunters with a shocked, terrified expression when Danny grabs his wrist and murmurs “Best leave while we're ahead, it won't take them long to realize they've been had.”

Lab Coat Guy wrenches his gaze away from the scene in front of him, gives Danny's scarf and goggles a desperate, searching look, and nods.

Danny grins and leads him out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Ford have a much-needed chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.  
> I swear I meant to post this months ago.  
> I've had no energy though, who knew having depression and a full time job would be so exhausting? :33  
> I'm going to try to continue this but I make no promises. My brain is spewing AU ideas left and right and I want to write but when i'm too tired everything comes out weird :PP  
> I was going to make this part of a series??? But then I decided to make all of the Danny and Ford stuff in one fic and make it a series if there's stuff about other characters.

Danny led his new acquaintance down the busy sidewalk, away from the bar. After the first block, his tagalong shook off the grip on his wrist. “Who are you? Where are we going?

Danny sighed. This one was going to be difficult. “I'm Danny, and the library. Now hurry up.”

“Why the library? And why are you helping me?”

Another sigh. “I can explain once we get there. Now are you coming or not? If those bounty hunters catch you, I can guarantee it won't be pleasant.”

He blanched, and when Danny turned to continue on his way, he heard hurried footsteps behind him. Good, Danny thought. A little fear might jumpstart his self-preservation instincts.

The library was, startlingly enough, exactly the type of building one would expect it to be. Even though the city's architecture was a mishmash of cultures and time periods, often with little to no gradation between them, it looked like a perfectly ordinary 19th-century archive, even sandwiched between a glowing red skyscraper of some kind and what appeared to be a parking lot full of food carts.

As the doorbell rang to announce their arrival, a dark-haired woman peered down at them from the top of a ladder. Danny waved up at her. "Hi Matilda, mind if we hide out here for a while?"

She smiled softly. "The third study on the left is open, if you're looking to lay low. If anyone comes in, I didn't see you."

"Thanks, we'll be out of your hair as soon as we can."

The third study was a small room, containing a table and a few chairs made out of dark wood. Danny immediately sat in one of the chairs at the table and pulled his laptop out of his pocket. He opened his chat client, entered "has anyone heard anything about the dream dorito lately?" into the group chat, and pushed it to the side. His tagalong had seemingly recovered from some of his shock and was watching Danny expectantly.

"Sorry about earlier, I'm just really not in the mood for a fight today. Anyway, you know my name, what's yours?" He extended his hand for a handshake.

"Stanford Pines." He shook Danny's hand hesitantly. His was wide, wider than it should've been, but that was none of Danny's business.

“Well then Stanford, what does Bill Cipher want with you?”

He paled and eyed the door.

Danny sighed.

“If you're going to figure out how to leave a room in a hurry, do it as soon as you get in, and at least _try_ not to make it obvious. My intentions are also the least of your problems, and Bill's an asshole. Now sit down, we'll probably be here a while.”

The scientist sat, albeit reluctantly. “If Bill is so terrible, then why do people work for him?”

Danny snorted. “He's an asshole, but he's a charismatic asshole and he pays well.” He dragged his laptop closer again, pulled up the bounty hunter forum, and typed Stanford's name into the search bar. Danny whistled softly.

“No wonder they were so eager to get ahold of you. Bill's willing to pay a galaxy to anyone who can bring you in alive. And don't think I didn't notice you dodging my question. You don't have to answer, or tell me the whole story, but I'll try to help you if I can.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Uhh.” Shit. Danny sighs. Might as well tell him the truth.

“Because I'm a spiteful ex-vigilante with attachment issues and now that I've rescued you, I may as well admit that I'm probably going to keep an eye on you, at least until you can travel and survive on your own.” Which may be a while, judging by his complete lack of combat experience.

“Oh. All right then, I suppose that's a better reason than most.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone into Undertale or Homestuck at all? Would you be interested if I wrote related stuff in those fandoms? I don't want to rip up the story by having multiple timelines playing tug-of-war with it but my brain already has some pretty solid ideas :PP  
> Come yell at me about updating my shit or nerdery in general at citrusfiend.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make it karaoke night but I'm not that mean.


End file.
